Tag Archives: forget baby

Terrible mother

Last night as we got into bed:

Me: “I’ve been reading a couple of pregnancy books, and a lot of them talk about women crying over diaper commercials, and not being able to think about anything but the baby, and totally freaking out right around this stage about whether or not they’ll be a good mother.”

Mike: “Are you worried about that?”

Me: “No! I mean, the baby’s six months away. That’s ages. Why would I worry about that now? I have too much other stuff to do. Who has time to worry about the baby six months before it’s due?”

Mike (carefully): “Well, past experience suggests that you’re not always the world’s fastest processor. So I’m just saying that if you start to worry about that next week, or next month, that’s OK. I’ll tell you now that you’re absolutely not going to be a terrible mother.”

This morning, after Mike had delivered tea and fruit to me in bed, and was getting dressed for work:

Me: “I had a dream last night that we had the baby, and then I went out to dinner with my parents. And my Dad asked halfway through dinner where the baby was, and I’d forgotten and left it at home. I also hadn’t fed it all day, because it never cried and reminded me.”

Mike: “What happened then?”

Me: “Dad sighed and rolled his eyes and picked up his mobile and said he’d call Michelle (because the baby was sleeping in her room anyway, not ours)…”

Mike: “Of course it was.”

Me: “… and Michelle would take care of it.”

Mike: “Did she?”

Me: “I don’t know. Because I got lost driving home, and then I woke up.”

Mike: “Where was I?”

Me: “Oh, you weren’t there.”

Mike: “Don’t worry, you’re not going to forget our baby.”

Me: “It would be sort of nice if I could – I mean, if it never cried and it was actually possible to forget about the baby for an entire day. That would be fine with me.”

Mike (laughing): “I take it back. You are going to be a terrible mother.”

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