Noisy neighbors (cont…)

Once upon a time in the land of Laos there lived a noisy woodcutter running an illegal business. Next door to him lived a frazzled woman and a little baby boy who did not, for some reason, sleep nicely to the lullaby of power tools screeching right outside his bedroom window…

One day four government officials met to discuss the matter of the noisy woodcutter and his illegal business. They sat around outside the house of the noisy woodcutter and drank tea and smiled, as one must always do in Laos. They saw that noisy woodcutter was the sole breadwinner for four old ladies. They felt very sorry for noisy woodcutter and the four old ladies (they felt a little sorry for the baby, too, but they felt more sorry for the four old ladies).

The government officials decided that noisy woodcutter could keep operating his illegal business from 9-11:30am and 2-4:30pm every weekday. The government officials wrote this down on a piece of paper and everyone except frazzled woman signed it and everyone except frazzled woman seemed to be happy with this solution.

(Well, frazzled woman’s husband isn’t happy with it either, because he has to live with frazzled woman. Frazzled woman’s husband is doing everything he can to continue to figure out a “creative solution”. Frazzled woman loves her husband. She thinks that without him in her life she would not enjoy living in Laos nearly as much. She doesn’t think too hard about the fact that without him in her life she would not be living in Laos next to noisy woodcutter, because that line of thought would not do anyone any good. Plus, were she to remind him of this fact all he would say is, “you need me to make your life more interesting and provide unto you material for your writing. You’re welcome.”)

No one is quite sure how this story will end. Will frazzled woman and her long-suffering and hard working husband decide to move house? Will they try to rent noisy woodcutter other premises? Will frazzled woman magically learn to cope better with the din of power tools ringing through the house every single day? Will the noisy woodcutter stumble across the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and therefore have another viable option for feeding the four old ladies?

Stay tuned.

-------- Me: "What are we going to do about the noisy woodcutter, Dominic?" -------- Dominic: "I don't know mama, what ARE we going to do?"

Have you had any bad neighbor experiences lately (or good ones, for that matter)?

8 responses to “Noisy neighbors (cont…)

  1. Oh Lisa, I feel your pain! I’m not sure people understand what ‘quiet’ is here…or if they do, it’s not their responsibility to ensure one ever experiences it… We have a pentecostal church around the corner from us and to put it nicely, they are…enthusiastic. We hear them rehearsing/singing/preaching not only on Sunday’s but Monday mornings, Wednesdays and Thursdays too. I can’t quite believe how far their speakers reach…they seem to have infiltrated every corner of our neighbourhood. The noise is actually far more invasive than the local mosque. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dreamed of undertaking some kind of black ops/espionage mission where I covertly cut all the wires to their sound system in the dead of the night…

    So anyhoo, I know that moving is a major hassle but it doesn’t sound like the Noisy Woodcutter is going to stop anytime soon. I’m amazed you’ve put up with it this far – it would have driven me spare a long time ago! Perhaps, finding a new house will be worth it in the long run..not only for bubs but for your sanity?

    Just a thought 🙂

    • I’m not sure that cutting will do it, Katie. Africa being Africa, people will figure out some inventive way to splice them back together again lickety split. I’m afraid you’re going to have to steal all the equipment. Yes, all of it. No, I have no idea how you’d go about doing that. I’m not the logistic person in this case, I’m the big ideas person. BTW, glad to hear the 20 week scan went well.

  2. We recently moved from the city to the country. In the city, there was a rental house beside us that had an indoor hot tub. The hot tub was HUGE. Instant party house. The landlords rented to anyone who seemed interested…so we had a series of beer-swilling, pot-smoking guys who blasted their stereos in our direction until the wee hours of the morning. Then slept most of the day. They mostly didn’t pay their rent and were evicted every 3-6 months.
    But the landlords didn’t listen to our appeals to rent to a nice family and so we got to know all our neighbors as we continually asked them to turn their music down!! We were journalists and actually worked during the day!!!
    These appeals usually worked for a few hours. When it got really bad, we called the police. That turned out to be a good thing because many of these groups of men were known by the cops. And these guys got busted for drugs, and one group had a prostitution ring working out of the house.
    After many years of problem renters the landlords finally realized that if they rented to a family, we wouldn’t complain as much and they might actually get paid dome rent.
    Now, in the country, the loudest thing is the occasional train rolling by. The deer are very quiet!! It is bliss.

  3. I am soooo sorry you are having to deal with this day after day. I’m sure it’s running you and the baby down. I’m praying there will be a good solution soon Lisa. Love you honey.

  4. Sorry for your plight Lisa, but my wife and I just howled at your “fairy tale.” Brilliant!

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