Lisa and Mike are standing in a group, talking to friends after church one morning about cooking.
Mike: “Do you use recipes?”
Jonathan (who designs remodels for a living and practically doubles as a chef): “Nah, I just make it up as I go along.”
Mike (triumphant): “Me too!”
Lisa: “Yes, but Mike, using that approach works best if you have some basic level of skill to use as a springboard for experimentation.”
Ninety seconds later, walking down the stairs with the same group, Lisa sidles over to Mike and strokes his arm lovingly.
Lisa: “I was mean to you, but now I’m going to come over and be nice and make sure everything’s OK.”
Mike: “Oh, so now you’re going to be needy as well.”
Lisa: “And you need to not only take my meanness, but now reach out to me in my uncertainty and give of yourself to affirm and soothe me.”
Jonathan: “Wait a minute, there’s something not quite right with that.”
Mike (with a sigh): “Yeah, but we believe honesty equals righteousness. It’s part of how we function.”