Monthly Archives: July 2009

Are you serious?

It’s lunchtime. Lisa decides to call Mike for a quick three minute mid-day hello.

Lisa: “Hey. What are you doing?”
Mike: “I’m about to get on a plane for Afghanistan, want to come?”
(Silence)
Lisa: “Are you serious?”
(Mike starts laughing.)
Lisa: “No, I mean it! Are you? Cuz you could be serious about the first part of the statement for all I know, and I wouldn’t put it past you to be serious about the second part of the statement too. What have you been up to this morning?”
Mike: “Oh, honey, if I were being serious I’d be serious about both parts. I’d want you to come.” (Pause)
Mike: “Of course, I’d want you not to complain, but I’d want you to come.”

The Birds

Lisa and Mike are having a skype date. Mike’s just finished a three week consultancy in PNG and is at Lisa’s parents place in Ballina for two days before heading back to LA. Lisa is in LA, not at all jealous about her family hanging out at home without her. Not at all.

Mike: “So, what else happened today?”

Lisa (running a bit short on material since she’s been sitting at the kitchen table all morning writing, thinks hard). “OH! There was this bird. Well, two birds actually. There was this girl bird just sitting on the railing minding her own business. And then this boy bird flies down and sits about a couple of feet away and pretends not to notice her at all for a while, but you KNOW he’s interested because he’s fluffing up his feathers and doing his little boy bird dance and sneaking peeks at her out of the corner of his little eye.”

Mike: “Mmmm. What was she doing?”

Lisa: “Pretending not to pay any attention of course, and the courtship was proceeding according to plan until she decided to hop off the railing and have a little fly around. Presumably, to show him that she COULD fly. Except, she flew in the open door of the apartment and round to where I was sitting, and then tried to fly out the locked screen, which didn’t work so well. So she beat herself against the screen, and then the glass in an absolute flurry of desperation and frantic cheeping.”

Mike: “What was the boy bird doing?”

Lisa: “He was sitting on the railing, watching, hopping from side to side, not knowing WHAT to do.”

Mike: “Well, of course he didn’t know what to do. Because you know what she was saying?”

Lisa: “No. What was she saying?”

Mike: “Don’t help me! Don’t help me! I’m fine! Just fine!”

Deuteronomy 24 verse 5

Mike and Lisa are walking around the neighborhood one evening:

Mike: “I was reading the Deuteronomy this morning and chapter 24 verse 5 says that “If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.” So I’m thinking that I maybe won’t apply for jobs in Afghanistan, Sudan, or Somalia for now.”

Lisa: “That sounds great! Now, can we move on to specifics about how you’re going to bring me more happiness? I mean, apart from just existing, and all that.”

Mike and Lisa are walking around the neighborhood the very next evening:

Lisa: “So, what did you do today?”

Mike: “Oh, you know. Applied for jobs here in LA. Applied for a job in Melbourne. Applied for a short term contract in Sudan…”