Monthly Archives: April 2009

Perfect

Lisa and Mike are getting dressed one morning.

Mike: “Did I snore last night?”
Lisa: “Nope.”
Mike (excited): “Did I even move?”
Lisa: “Nope.”
Mike (smiling broadly): “It’s mornings like this when I think I’m perfect.”
Lisa: “That’s good. It’s nice you can have those mornings once every couple of months.”

Horse or donkey

Mike and Lisa are driving back from a book reading at Hollywood. Lisa has done quite well, she only get’s a little tightly wound when they are in heavy traffic, or looking for a park on sunset blvd, or turning corners (so, approximately 82% of the commute). She flinches when Mike turns into their own driveway at the end of the evening and points out a bicyclist in a panicked voice.

The following exchange ensues:

Lisa: “Sorry I’m so jumpy, I don’t know why.”

Mike: “Yes, you are a bit … skittish… in the car”

Lisa: “Yes, like an Arabian thoroughbred racing horse. A finely-tuned miracle of breeding and class.”

Mike – silent

Lisa: “Or like a donkey. A traumatized donkey who’s been frequently beaten, and exposed to too many loud tractor noises.”

Mike – silent

Lisa: “Horse or donkey?”

Mike – silent

Lisa: “Horse or donkey? HORSE or DONKEY? HORSE OR DONKEY?????”

Mike: “You see me? This is me keeping my mouth shut. This is a husband who knows a lose lose situation when he sees one.”